Friday, February 14, 2014

Bookshelf: Candice Watters' Get Married: What Women Can do to Help it Happen

Yes, this book was sitting on my shelf. More out of curiosity than needing the advice though. I was already with my now fiance at the time I bought this book. Some of this advice is practical, and other parts of the book are cringe worthy. Mostly because of the the emphasis on the mandate to Adam and Eve to reproduce. Watters seems to really believe if a married couple chooses to not have children they are in the wrong. I have no idea why some Christians like to single out that verse to multiply, but like to ignore countless others like how a woman should be secluded during her menstrual cycle. Plus, it's common sense God would tell them to make babies! If they hadn't the population wouldn't have grown, and today we don't have a problem with that, but we do have a problem with family structure.

Summary: Almost any woman you've met has dreamed about the day she will marry, though there are those who haven't. This book is more so for those who believe they are trying to marry in a world that doesn't place the value on marriage that there once was though. Women tend to be focusing on the negatives of men and prolonging marriage for educational and financial security as well, and this does push back the chances of babies if you want that sort of thing. Though women are making choices that will delay marriage they still complain about being single. Watters provides some truths and tips to staying content but also pursuing the idea of marriage while you're single.

Characters: Well there are only a handful of people that Candice Watters references for her story. Mostly though she uses her and her husband as an example, which works great as they have plenty of experience being married a decade. For the most part I agree with much of Watters is applying from Biblical characters as well. I don't understand people who said she lacked in Biblical references because I thought her story used a good bit to relate to what she was saying. If I did have one complaint I would say she didn't use enough female characters from the Bible, because women are going to relate a lot more to their stories of marriage and waiting then a male. It's just natural.

Writing: I like how Watters writes. I feel she is very upfront, and she doesn't beat around the bush to get to her point. Each chapter she knows the goal she is aiming for, and she doesn't go in a circle talking about it. Watters though does sound very preachy through her writing though. I couldn't help but feeling only her view mattered throughout, and that she was the end all and be all to relationship advice. There was no consideration that what works for one couple or person may not work for another. It was just "This is Biblical and this is how it must be done!" When even the Bible has plenty of diversity in it's relationship tales.

Plot: The chapters are very upfront, and I think for most women they are very applicable. Watters gets a little carried away though in applying what works in her relationship to something everyone should do. Like she talks about bank accounts and everything need to become one, because she believes that it's implied in the Bible. Now I get the jump, but it's so scary to take verses and make them your own in that way. While I would say it's likely there is truth in that there is no way to full proof it. Sometimes with the different ways people have budgeted and the debt it's better just to approach it separately money wise, as long as you agree on it and discuss it. Also, another really huge problem was the constant talk about children and family. Most women will overlook this and really be okay with it as probably the majority of people on earth eventually want children. Watters talks about children though as if all married people are commanded to have them, and I disagree. Applying a command to the first two people on earth that was logical for them to people nowadays have a different setting and well different ways to plentiful the earth. Most Christians don't avoid pork, make a sacrifice, or avoid sex at certain of the month, so why would they reproduce for the sake of reproducing when at the time it was given to two people who had to do it in order to continue the population especially since death came into existence? These sorts of things just bother me too much to really fully enjoy the other advice she was giving.

There is some great advice in the book for single women, and since most want children you probably won't be as bothered by the constant forced talk that you must have children once marrying. I also found it strange that she didn't discuss infertility. What is a couple to do once they find they can't procreate as she believes they are commanded to do? While infertility is more likely to happen as you age Watters doesn't take into account there might be people younger and incapable as well. Outside of this Watters offers some thoughtful advice that also will help women to not become obsessive over marrying as well though.

Rating 7 of 10.

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