Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Kim Kimberling's 7 Secrets to An Awesome Marriage

I still read books for book reviews, and the most recent book I read was 7 Secrets to An Awesome Marriage. Are the things in this book really secrets? No. I would say that when reading a book approaching marriage with generic advice it's only applicable if your marriage is already okay. If you're having serious problems, then this book can't look at your situation and know what to access. This book also has a stereotypical view of women and men. Not everyone is going to have the same reactions, demeanor, or scenario to be applicable to their own situation.

If you want to make the book short you can read each title of the chapter and you have the gist of the book. Women want feelings. Men want sex. It seemed as soon as it was mentioned the author's wife attended the same college with him where the dorms had a curfew for women and not for men, and this wasn't even called into question as a problem, I knew this book was questionable in intent. Anyone who would mention that then forget it in the next sentence seems a little too understanding to their college's sexist ways.

I understand the majority of people will fall into most of the roles we are familiar with, but what about those who don't? What would be the author's advice for a man who married a woman with a physical want for sex, and not a sensual, romantic, experience? Does this even exist to Christian marriages? Why wasn't it analyzed why many women are uncomfortable with the idea of sex that meets the physical urge?

This book doesn't just focus on the marriage bed though. It also discusses the communication problems couples encounter. For one aspect we learn about scheduling a time to talk about marital issues at a scheduled time. This doesn't sound like a bad idea, but it also sounds clinical. Is there anyway in a marriage to treat someone else like a person? We finally get to marrying your best friend, but how can you perceive someone as a best friend when they are wrapped in preexisting roles you've attributed to another person? Friends I know are acquaintances I enjoyed talking to that I kept in contact with and make time for. Why can't the added bonus of a physical relationship be what takes that relationship to the next level?  Otherwise can you perceive someone as a friend you sought specifically for, and then leave them with an idea to be filled?

I learned that Dr. Kim Kimblering probably shouldn't be handing out marriage counseling. I find books like this could be more so stifling to the personalities in a marriage trying to now fit prerequisites they were given to be married to someone. If you're hopefully both decent people then you're already trying to do what this book claims are secrets. Also, this book only uses advice that would be geared toward marrying Christians. I suppose the nearly 50% divorce rate he wants to help isn't for people of other religions.

This book was provided by Book Look Bloggers for a review.

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